Equal Partnership

Note from Mom

My parents were always a good example of equality in marriage.  My dad, always the one to joke, would say “I’m the head of the house!  But my wife is the neck, and the neck turns the head!”  I don’t think this was quite true of their relationship because they work very well in tandem with each other.  Growing up with this example, I never expected anything less for myself.  I feel like your father values me, my mind, and my opinion every bit as much as his own.  And likewise, I value his.  I am very fortunate to have found someone who treats me as his equal partner.  I hope each of you find someone who treats you as well, and I hope that you, in turn, treat them with love and respect as your equal partner.

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.  

“[The Family: A Proclamation to the World] states that fathers ‘are to preside’ and ‘to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families,’ while mothers ‘are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.’ Fathers and mothers are to ‘help one another’ fulfill these duties as ‘equal partners’” (Hafen & Hafen, 2007).

“The family proclamation’s exhortation to equal partnership in marriage does not mean that husband and wife are identical, but it does mean that in a very real and meaningful sense they must stand as equals before each other to find the joy that is their heritage in marriage (Hudson & Miller, 2012).

“Men and women joined together in marriage need to work together as a full partnership. However, a full and equal partnership between men and women does not imply the roles played by the two sexes are the same in God’s grand design for His children. As the proclamation clearly states, men and women, though spiritually equal, are entrusted with different but equally significant roles” (Ballard, 2006).

“Spouses need not perform the same functions to be equal” (Hafen & Hafen, 2007).

“Family stewardships should be understood in terms of their responsibilities -- obligations to one’s spouse, not power over one's spouse. . . according to the Hebrew translation, Genesis 3:16 is more accurately understood to mean Adam ‘ruling with,’ not ‘ruling over’ Eve” (as paraphrased and cited in Hudson & Miller, 2012).

“Social science research supports the prophetic instruction that couples who have an equal partnership have happier relationships, more effective parenting practices, and better-functioning children. Scholars have consistently found that equal partners are more satisfied and have better overall marital quality than couples where one spouse dominates. Equal-partner relationships have less negative interaction and more positive interaction. Moreover, there is evidence that equal partners are more satisfied with the quality of the physical intimacy in their relationship” (Hudson & Miller, 2013).

Video:

The Women in Our Lives

For Younger Kids - an object lesson on "What's Fair?"
from Teach From the Heart

Ballard, M. R. (2006, March). The sacred responsibilites of parenthood. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/03/the-sacred-responsibilities-of-parenthood?lang=eng

The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Retrieved October 15, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng

Hafen, B. C., & Hafen, M. K. (2007, August). Crossing thresholds and becoming equal partners. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/08/crossing-thresholds-and-becoming-equal-partners?lang=eng

Hudson, V. M. & Miller, R. B., (2012). Equal partnership between men and women in families. In A. J. Hawkins & D. C. Dollahite & T. W. Draper (Eds.), Successful Marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives (pp. 38-45 Provo, UT: BYU Studies.

Hudson, V. M. & Miller, R. B., (2013, April). Equal partnership in marriage. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/04/equal-partnership-in-marriage?lang=eng&cid=GCact1213-4-1-6a1