Note from Mom
When we are sealed in the temple, it is because we hope to be together for eternity. Because we will be spending the rest of time together and all of eternity, we need to have a relationship that will make us want to continue to be together. This means that we need to nurture our marriage so the bonds between husband and wife are strong and desired, but we also need to make sure that it is of an eternal nature. I hope that as you find your eternal companions that you will remember that these principles are vital to any eternal marriage. I knew when I married your father that I wanted it to be forever. With this perspective in mind, I understand that everything I say or do needs to be able to support an eternal relationship. Harsh words and unkind attitudes will not make us want to be together forever, but as we lovingly nurture our relationship, our ties to each other are strengthened.
“THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” (The Family)
“An eternal bond doesn’t just happen as a result of sealing covenants we make in the temple. How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in all the eternities to come. To receive the blessings of the sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in such a way that our families will want to live with us in the eternities” (Hales, 1996)
“First, I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth” (Clayton, 2013).
“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by” (Howard, 2003).
“Next, faith. Successful eternal marriages are built on the foundation of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and adherence to His teachings. I have observed that couples who have made their marriages priceless practice the patterns of faith: they attend sacrament and other meetings every week, hold family home evening, pray and study the scriptures together and as individuals, and pay an honest tithing” (Clayton, 2013).
“Couples who practice their faith together generally have less conflict, are more likely to reach a mutually satisfying resolution if there is conflict, and are more likely to remain committed to each other and the marriage when conflict does occur” (as paraphrased and cited in Duncan & McCarty Zasukha, 2012).
“When a husband and wife go together frequently to the holy temple, kneel in prayer together in their home with their family, go hand in hand to their religious meetings, keep their lives wholly chaste—mentally and physically—so that their whole thoughts and desires and loves are all centered in the one being, their companion, and both work together for the upbuilding of the kingdom of God, then happiness is at its pinnacle” (Kimball, 2002).
“Third, repentance. I have learned that happy marriages rely on the gift of repentance. It is an essential element in every good marital relationship. Spouses who regularly conduct honest self-examination and promptly take needed steps to repent and improve experience a healing balm in their marriages” (Clayton, 2013).
“The cure for most marital troubles does not lie in divorce. It lies in repentance and forgiveness, in expressions of kindness and concern. It is to be found in application of the Golden Rule” (Hinckley, 2004).
“Every couple, whether in the first or the twenty-first year of marriage, should discover the value of pillow-talk time at the end of the day—the perfect time to take inventory, to talk about tomorrow. And best of all, it’s a time when love and appreciation for one another can be reconfirmed. The end of another day is also the perfect setting to say, ‘Sweetheart, I am sorry about what happened today. Please forgive me.’
“You see, we are all still imperfect, and these unresolved differences, allowed to accumulate day after day, add up to a possible breakdown in the marital relationship—all for the want of better communication, and too often because of foolish pride” (Simpson, 1982).
Videos:
“Fourth, respect. I have observed that in wonderful, happy marriages, husbands and wives treat each other as equal partners.
“Husbands and wives in great marriages make decisions unanimously, with each of them acting as a full participant and entitled to an equal voice and vote. They focus first on the home and on helping each other with their shared responsibilities” (Clayton, 2013).
“Husbands and wives, learn to listen, and listen to learn from one another” (Nelson, 1991).
For Young Children:
(While the lesson isn't related to respect in marriage, specifically, teaching respect and manners is definitely a stepping stone so we are ready to be respectful of others, including our spouses later.)
“Fifth, love. The happiest marriages I have seen radiate obedience to one of the happiest commandments—that we ‘live together in love’” (Clayton, 2013).
“Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity” (Eyring, 1998).
“Agency plays a fundamental role in our relationships with one another. This being true, we must make the conscious decision that we will love our spouse and family with all our heart, soul, and mind; that we will build, not “fall into,” strong, loving marriages and families” (Robbins, 2000).
Videos:
Enduring Love
Saving Your Marriage
Clayton, L. W. (2013, May). Marriage: Watch and learn. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/05/marriage-watch-and-learn.p1?lang=eng
Duncan, S. F., & McCarty Zasukha, S. S., (2012). Foundational processes for an enduring, healthy marriage. In A. J. Hawkins & D. C. Dollahite & T. W. Draper (Eds.), Successful Marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives (pp. 27-37). Provo, UT: BYU Studies.
Eyring, H. B. (1998, May). That we may be one. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/1998/05/that-we-may-be-one?lang=eng
The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Retrieved October 15, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng
Hales, R. D. (1996, November). The eternal family. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/1996/11/the-eternal-family?lang=eng
Hinckley, G. B. (2004, November). The women in our lives. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2004/11/the-women-in-our-lives?lang=eng
Howard, F. B. (2003, May). Eternal marriage. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2003/05/eternal-marriage?lang=eng
Kimball, S. W. (2002, October). Oneness in marriage. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2002/10/oneness-in-marriage?lang=eng
Nelson, R. M. (1991, May). Listen to learn. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/1991/05/listen-to-learn?lang=eng
Robbins, L. G. (2000, October). Agency and love in marriage. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/10/agency-and-love-in-marriage?lang=eng
Simpson, R. L. (1982, May). A lasting marriage. Ensign,. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/1982/05/a-lasting-marriage?lang=eng
No comments:
Post a Comment